Behind closed doors

9:50 AM

Shh, it's Saturday and I'm not at work! This never happens. 

Very few of my acquaintances would ever guess that I even know how to be still and quiet. But my oldest and  closest friends know that from time to time I prefer to drop off the grid entirely. I don't necessarily want to lay in a dark room by myself for hours. I need to create!
To make something so horribly embarrassing that it can only be left to utter alone time.
In the public, waking life, I know my skill set. I'm a communicator, a connector, a planner, a writer, a dreamer and a get in there and get your hands dirty kinda girl.

I also know what I cannot do. Unfortunately it's a much longer list.

I cannot:
dance, like really dance
braid, or give my hair any kind of volume for that matter
run fast
throw hard
hold my breath incredibly long 
hula hoop
speak another language
cross my eyes
contort or trapeze
see ghosts

It's really unfortunate.

So in the privacy of my own digs, I work on these shortcomings. Which ones you'll never know.
I do this madness not because I plan to ever unveil my secretly developed talents to the world.
But I feel like you should try everything once and if you're terrible at it but love it anyway, you should do it till the cows come home. Hence, my karaoke obsession. 
Also, I think personal humiliation is a good practice behind closed doors.
Did you know I have a karaoke machine?
You can borrow it some time if you need to.

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All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure. - Mark Twain