Working at our first DIME men's style shoot.

Sometimes I think that if I had 10 solid minutes with no interruptions, where basically the entire world was on pause, that I could really (I'm sorry mom, there's no polite way to say this..) fuck some shit up. That if I could just think clearly, you know -- 100% zen -- the result would be life-changing productivity.

It's a totally bogus fantasy that I would ever have 10 minutes that weren't already parceled out to some other thing I've committed to two or three years ago before I learned how to say "no" properly. It's even more wishful/insane that I would achieve superhero status if I didn't have these other obligations.

I've realized, after working with so many folks in their early 20's (which I am not), that this is also they only life they know. They're constantly shifting gears from one task to the next, like tabs in a web browser, without ever completing anything satisfactorily. And in order to survive, most are working two or three jobs only to still be poor at the end of the month. For many, the things they dream of -- travel, companionship, rich experiences -- will be fed to them via tumblr and not reality.

I deeply understand their plight. Ten years ago when I graduated college, I had already drawn out a road map for myself. One that consisted of the usual suspects: career, marriage, family, etc.
It's not an uncommon practice here in the South or anywhere for that matter. But that short-sighted plan is a lot like going to a 5-star gourmet chef and asking him to prepare you a school lunch: "oh just any old meat, a veggie and a starch, please. Whatever you got back there."
At 20, the world is ripe with possibilities, yet so many of us (myself included at that time) are willing to get in line for whatever soggy mess is firstly available, without asking too many questions. And sadly, we keep drudging through that same line even at age 30 and beyond, wanting for everything and asking for nothing.

I've apparently defied the traditions that abound by starting my own business instead of becoming an employee, by waiting until later in life to even consider marriage, and by refusing to go full adult (if "adult" means I can't have playdays with my friends). And none of this felt strange. The only dissonance I've dealt with over my life decisions has rung out when I didn't ask questions or didn't trust my gut. I do believe in God, and I know he has given each of us some special tools for not only coping with our weird world but for excelling in it, and that includes our instincts. Those instincts do get rather dull if you never obey them.

I'm thinking I owe it to myself to start giving 10 mins of thought to where I'm at in life, where I want to go, what I've learned from others and what I may have to offer those around me. Normally, this sort of discourse is reserved for a paper journal, and it will continue to be stored there, but I'm willing to publish here .. to see what benefit there is in sharing, both for myself and for others with similar "radical" thoughts about a life that deviates from the normal lunch line format.

Be seeing you in 10.